Can't Wait to Be King!
by Dark Hawk1
Summary: **Chapter 5 up** When Legolas finally realizes that because his dad is immortal, he will never be king, he decides something must be done...
1. Default Chapter

Warning: If you can't stand bad metaphors, irrelevant trail off sentences, and just crummy writing altogether, please do not read this story.  Otherwise, enjoy your read!  

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	2. The King is I

   A blanket of fog laid over Mirkwood, giving it a dismal mood.  Though not the kind of dismal as in school dismal, more as in the ominous dismal. The soft sound of hooves emerged from the mist, and Prince Legolas looked up in exuberance.  His friends from Rivendell where finally coming! He thought, happily.  About time too.  He could use some cheering from the twins and Arwen.

    "Prince Legolas!" said Elrond, greeting him, and hugging the small elf.  "You've grown a lot!"

    "Uh-huh!" Legolas said happily.  "I'm gonna be king soon!"

    "No you aren't!" Arwen giggled.  "Your dadda's immortal, he's gonna live forever!"

    "Oh." Said Legolas.  But his heart fell like a falling star.  By the way, falling stars can be viewed commonly in the desert, they're really quite pretty.  But it should be dark outside to see them properly.  But our story is not about falling stars, so lets continue.  

    All his life, Legolas had dream about being King.  He even prepared speeches, laws ("No child shall be forced to go to bed until they want"), and even picked out who he would have be queen (that pretty red haired elf who went to his daycare).  

    But now he knew the truth.  He would always be Prince Legolas.  Never King Legolas.  It hurt.  A lot.

    So Legolas decided he would have to do what's best.

    "We'll hafta to assassassinate him!" Legolas said sadly to the twins and Arwen later that night.

    "I think it's pronounced assassinate." Elrohir corrected.

    "No, I'm sure it assysanite." Elladan said.

    "Grrr….fine, we'll just kill him them." Legolas said.

    "But's he's your daddy!" Arwen protested.

    "Fine.  Then we'll find a reason to put him in jail, and then I can be king!" said Legolas.

    "Sounds good to me." Arwen said, and the twins nodded in agreement.

    "So, how are we going to get him in jail?" Elrohir asked curiously…


	3. The Plan of the Curfoo

    "I finally have a plan!" Legolas said, right after dinner, in the very secret hide out of the under the table.

    "Well…what is it?!" Arwen asked, impatiently, chewing on a tart.

    "Well, you know how when I don't go to bed on time, dada gives me time out?"

    "Yes…"

    "Well, I think grown up time out it jail, right?"

    "Yes…" the twins said, simultaneously.

    "So I figure that if we can get other grown ups to catch him staying up beyond his curfoo—"

    "That would be curfew." Arwen corrected.

    "Sounds like a sneeze…" Elladan remarked.

    "Shut up! I'm prince, I get to talk!" Legolas said, threatening them with a curled up fist.  "Then they'll hafta put him in jail!"

    "Great idea, Leggy!!" Elladan said.  "So how are you gonna make sure the other grown ups catch him?" he asked.

    "Ah—now that's where the true plan comes into action." Legolas said mysteriously.

    "Ooooh…what's the plan?" Arwen asked, curiously.

    "I don't know yet.  I was hoping you'd know." He said, as Arwen slapped her head, forgetting that she had a tart in her hand, and succeeding in getting jelly all over her forehead.  By the way, jelly on bagel tastes really good!! Especially with whipped cream…but then, everything tastes good with whipped cream, espe—

    "Shut up!" Legolas said, rudely interrupting the author's ramblings.  "Okay…I have it…though it'll risk me getting time out—" everybody gasped dramatically.  "Yes…but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make."

    :You're so brave, Leggy!" Arwen said, in admiration.

    "Yes." Legolas said, nodding gravely.  "I shall pretend to have a cold—"

    "Elves don't get sick though, Leggy…"

    "Oh.  Darn.  Then I shall pretend to um…"

    "Need to go potty?" Elrohir suggested.

    "Yes!! And that I've forgotten my way!"

    "To the potty?" Arwen said, incredulously. 

    "Yes....don't ruin my perfect plan! And then, I shall wake up dada, and then once he's awake, shout for Elrond, and Elrond will put him in jail!"

    "Splendid idea, Leggy!" Elladan commended

    "I suppose it might work...." Arwen said.

Next chapter: The plan goes into action!! *dramatic music*


	4. Miscalculatron

Author's Note: Oh darn!! I knew I forgot something…I was like, "Something doesn't sound right about 'dada'" well, now I realize my mistake.  Well, from this chapter on, I'm gonna use the term "ada". Thanks for reminding me.   Also, I don't think this counts as a parody…isn't a parody more like, say "Bored of the Rings"?  My story is just humor, and not AU or OOC…I mean, we never learned how the elflings acted when they were little kids, and it's not out of character considering they're all toddlers. (now if it was grown Legolas looking for the potty—that would be AU OOC, and pretty scary!!)  But maybe I will warn people…

WARNING: DON'T READ THIS STORY IF YOU CAN'T STAND TODDLER ELVES RUNNING AMOK!!

Okey dokey.

*       *       *

    Under the cover of night, (it actually wasn't that dark, as most of the elves in Mirkwood are quite frightened of the dark, hence all the night lights that can be found in every hallway…), the elflings, dressed in pajamas that blended into the darkness (actually, Legoas was wearing a CareBear PJ, Elladan and Elrohir were wearing Smurf PJ, and Arwen was wearing a Power Ranger PJ) walked down the hall, oh so quietly with a flashlight in hand.

    "Here's my ada's room…you guys stay out here, and when you hear him wake up, call for Elrond, okay?"

    "Okay." The twins replied.

    "If you get time-out, can I have your blue Power Ranger action figure?" Arwen asked.

    "Hopefully, it won't come to that." Legolas said dramatically, as Arwen hugged him good bye.

    Legolas snuck in with the nimbleness and stealth of a hippo.  As he tripped over his left foot, his ada woke up and rubbed his eyes.

    "Legolas?" he yawned.  "Why in the world are—"

    "I forgot which way the potty was…" Legolas answered, oh-so-innocently.  

    Arwen, hearing the phrase, began shrieking, "ADA!! ADA!!" and soon the twins joined.  A (confusing) moment later, Elrond arrived, looking very tired.  

    "What is it?" he asked.

    "Look! Look! Mr. Legolas's Ada is awake!" Arwen said.  Meanwhile, Legolas and his father were talking.

    "What do you mean you lost your way to the potty?" Thranduil shouted.  "It's in the same room as your bed!"

    "Oh, so that's where I misplaced it…" Legolas said.  But he knew Elrond was on the way, and would see his Ada awake…

    "Thranduil!" Elrond said, entering.  Yes! Legolas thought.  It's working!  "What's your son doing here?" Elrond said.

    Uh oh.  That wasn't part of the plan…

    A moment later, Legolas was led out by the elf parents, kicking, screaming.  This was NOT the way things were supposed to go.  Thranduil was supposed to get time out—not him!

    *     *     *

    "So what's you're next 'brilliant' plan?" Arwen mumbled, sitting in the baby pen, angrily.  In the _time-out_ pen.

    "Okay…so I made a little miscalutron…it'll be better next time…" Legolas mumbled.

    "First of all, it's miscalculation, and second it was not a miscalculation!! It was just a bad plan!!" Arwen said.

*        *        *

Next chapter: Legolas tries to come up with another "plan".  He will be king.  He will.


	5. The Letter of DOOM!

Author's Note: I'm am so very sorry for not updating in the last forever: I've had writer's block. Am I forgiven? Eh...apparently not. At any rate, I got the idea for this chapter from one of the reviews: thank you so much for the idea!! On another note: Aladdin and Weird Al songs do not belong to me. Though I can say the original Power Ranger series belonged to my dad (well not really, he was the director. But it's more fun toying with disclaimers, now isn't it?), so ha!! Evil disclaimers....  
  
* * *  
  
The next day, the twins, Arwen, and Legolas made way to their secret under the table hide out, Arwen looking particularly angry.  
  
"I hope it's a good idea this time, 'cause I don't think I can survive another time out." Arwen huffed.  
  
"Oh, it's perfect!" Legolas said. "There is no room for a mistake!"  
  
Both the twins rolled their eyes.  
  
"Oh, fine then, don't trust me! I can do it myself! And then lets see who's rolling their eyes when I'm king, and you have to bow to me!" Legolas said, standing up (and bumping his head on the table).  
  
"Fine, fine, don't throw a tantrum..." Elladan said, "I'll help if you promise me that when you're king you'll let me be your royal advisor!"  
  
"What's a royal advisor?" Legolas asked.  
  
"I don't know. But they're always the bad guys in the movies, like in Aladdin." Elladan said.  
  
"You mean you want to be evil? You're not going to betray me, are you?" Legolas asked, horrified.  
  
"Of course not, Leggy." Elladan said, crossing his fingers.  
  
"Hey! Crossies don't count!" Elrohir said, only to get hit in the stomach by Elladan.  
  
"Crossies?" Legolas asked. "No fair!"  
  
"Oh, 'Rohir's being silly. In Rivendell, crossies mean that we give our promise." Elladan said.  
  
"Oh, okay. So can I tell you my plan?" Legolas said, sitting down again.  
  
They nodded, even Arwen, who was busy playing with Legolas's green Power Ranger.  
  
"Okay. Well, do you remember when that lady, Galady El sent ada a letter?" Legolas said.  
  
"Galady-el?" Arwen said, looking up from giving the Power Ranger a make over. "Oh! You mean Granny Galadriel, don't you!"  
  
"She's your granny?!" Legolas asked.  
  
"Sure! She brings us presents whenever she comes!" Elrohir said.  
  
"Oh. I want presents too...." Legolas muttered. "Well, when ada got the letter, he said he had 'important business with her lady', whatever that meant."  
  
"I think that means that they in love." Arwen said.  
  
"No, because Granny's married already, remember?" Elladan corrected.  
  
"So? The course of true love has no barriers..." Arwen said dreamily.  
  
"What the heck is she talking about?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"Must be something she heard...." Legolas said. "But can I get back to my plan? Well, ada went away, and didn't come back for a few days." Legolas finished triumphantly.  
  
"That's brilliant!" Elladan said. "I don't get it."  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. "It means that if tell him he has 'important business' he'll go away."  
  
"But he'll come back, you know." Arwen said. "And who's going to write the letter?"  
  
"That's a minor detail, when he comes back, I'll be king, and it'll be too late. And I can write the letter!"  
  
Arwen raised her eyebrows, and looked into Legolas's blue-as-the-water- in-my-toilet eyes. "We trusting you not to get us in trouble again." She said, in a failed attempt to sound scary.  
  
* * *  
  
Next chapter: Will the plan work? (doubtfully...) Find out in the next episode, um, chapter of Can't Wait to Be King!! (starts playing dramatic theme music) 


End file.
